“Ab dekho tum aaye ho, mauka hai aur hum taiyaar bhi hain. Laage-lagaye mein dekh aayenge, nahi toh humara jaana kahan ho pata hai. Aur hume bhi toh naaye zamane ki picture dekhni chahiye! Batao, itne saal ho gaye, aakhri baar Barabar Jhoom dekhen gaye the Abha Behenji ke saath...”
“Haan, well, agar aap kehti hain toh...”
*
“Pahuch gaye. Pandrah-bees saal hue yahan aaye hue. Aadha mann toh yehi hai ke Manoj ke policy kar aaun.”
“Nahi, ab gaye toh late ho jayenge. Ticket bhi toh khareedna hai; aur woh dekhiye, line kitni lambi hai.”
“Hai ram! Waapas chalain kya? Nai mila ticket toh Manoj ke hote hue chalenge!”
“Arre andar toh chaliye, waapsi ki baad mein dekhenge.”
*
“Ae bhaiya torchman, kahan baithain? Yahan baith jaayain?”
“Ji, yahin baith jao ji.”
“Hume zyada aage nahi jaana, peeche se hi dekhenge...hum wahan peeche chale jaayain?”
“Mataji yahin baith jao aap, bas.”
“Arre dekho wahan ganda hai, paan ka thooka hai! Hum nahi baithenge yahan bhai, hum peeche jaayenge!”
“Mataji...”
“Yahan kaise baithenge bhai? Chalo beta, peeche chalo!”
“Nahi, mataji, nahi...arre, chalo aap andar toh ho jao, ek aad seat hum logon ke liye bhi chorh do!”
*
“Accha hua na aage aa gaye? Peeche se puri screen nai dikhti, woh balcony ka projection raaste mein aa raha than a.”
“Haan, woh toh theek hai par yeh kahan aa kahan gaye hum? Yeh janta kaise shor-sharaba kar rahi hai!”
“Ab bhai hall hi aisa hai...har type ke log aate hain na yahan, aur unmein kaafi thorhe woh gareeb rickshaw waale, daily wage earners, outstation students aur yeh sab hote hain na...”
“Humne nahi pasand yeh sab! Pandrah saal ke the toh Eta mein picture dekhi thi, yahan ke crowd ne aisi hooting kit hi. Hum nai baithenge aisi seetiyon aur taaliyon aur shor mein! It’s the limit!”
“Arre kya, a baa gaye hain toh dekh hi lete hain. Waise bhi picture...”
*
“Hey bhagwaan! Kya picture hai yeh! It’s the limit! Aisi vaahiyaat picture humne itne saalon mein kabhi nhi dekhi!Kya zamana badal gaya hai! Aur kuch sar-pair toh ho? Aaj ki larkiyan, bas nanga naach karva lo! It’s the limit!”
“Ohho! Jab maine kaha tha toh tab toh naaya zamana tha! Ab dekhiye!”
“Nahi, hum nahi...arre bhaiya udhar se ghum ke jao na!”
“Bas ek minute, sorry.”
“Ab use jana hai...”
“Ae bhaiya torchman, humne kaha tha na humari balcony ki ticket katva lao, woh kahan hai?”
“Mataji hum kahan se laayenge? Aap batao, hum toh bithate hain logon ko, ticket kahan se layenge?”
“Aur hall bhi yeh centrally heated nahi hai! AC on karo bhai, barhi sardi lag rahi hai hume!”
“Aisa hi rahega Mataji yeh, itni hi garmi hai!”
“Arre hum aa chuke hain pehle, tab...”
“Mataji upar balcony mein hai garmi, yahan nai!”
“Arre toh lao na ticket upar ki!”
“Aap picture toh dekho Mataji, upar ka nahi hoga ab!”
*
“Kuch samajh nai aa raha...itni lambi zindagi mein sainkron picturain dekhi hongi, par iss jaisi...it’s the limit! Kya kehna kya chahte hain yeh log? Kya message hai picture ka?”
“Entertainment hi hai, aur kya...”
“Nahi toh uska bhi toh kuch udeshya hoga na! Aise kaise...abhi hawaijahaz mein the, ab gaon mein hain...aur kuch tuk toh ban nahi raha hai, bas aise hi...arre kitni baar kaha bhaiya, udhar ghum ke jao!”
“Arre aunty kahan se ghum ke jaun?”
“Wahan se jao na beta, baar-baar!”
“Shush! Saat saal ke bacche ki tarah behave maat kariye, picture dekhiye! Kissi ko toilet jana ho toh utna pura hall dundh ke toh koi nahi jayega na!”
“Accha phas gaye bhai...”
*
“Jaan chooti! Ae scooter waale bhaiya, arre zara ruko, yahan Prem Gali se nikal lo. Aisi vahiyaat picture, aur aisa hall! Bathroom jaate jaate toh pair hi philas gaye the, gir jaate toh....hai ram! Aur ladies ko bhi theek se...kya batayain ab! Arre bhaiya sabzi waale dekhte raho, kathal lena hai humain!”
“Iss time pe Mataji patanahi...”
“Arre sab mil jayega, zara aahista chalo...kaan pakar liye bhai, mati maari gayi thi! Ab din gaye, hall mein picture dekhne kabhi nahi jayenge!”
“Kathal ka kya karna hai ab...chorhiye...”
“Sab bacche ek saman hain humare liye, ek khana chahta hai toh hum kyun na banvain?”
“Par iss waqt?”
“Woh dekhiye mataji, woh raha kathal!”
*
“Kaisi rahi?”
“Bahut accha hua, bahut accha kiya jo aap nahi gaye! Bilkul bakwaas, besharmi ki had hai!”
“Hehehe!”
“Khana theek se banya liya tha? Iske bhi tevar bahut ho gaye hain...aur woh gaana, use toh hum dekh hi nahi paaye sharm ke mare! He ram, aaj kal ki larkiyan, it’s the limit!”
“Arre, ab aisa hi hota hai aaj kal...”
“Hum isliye toh gaye nahi, hume toh andaza tha...”
“Ab maan toh rahi hum dimag phir gaya tha! Bhai hum purane aadmi rahe, humse nahi...nahi, khoobsurati ko pratak karne ka bhi dhang hota hai, aisi hi nahi ke kuch, kaise bhi...nahi, yeh sab toh theek nahi...haan, le aao. Hullo? Haan? Arre, tum bhi? Humne toh ek kilo le liya! Arre, le aayenge...nahi? Yahin rakhe rahain...chalo, agle hafte hi...khair, yeh toh theek kaha, tees maar khan dekhne gaye, tees maar khan hi ban gaye!”
2 comments:
"To his Mistress, the Guardian Angel: A Promise" and the lines beneath the photo of "I love your blog" are 2 different poems? On a different note, I have developed a perfect system of indicating pronunciation of Hinglish sounds in the Roman script. According to that system: grapes are spelt "greps", their translation is spelt "angoo-roeN", body is spelt "bo-ddee", its translations are spelt "sha-reer" and "ang", number is spelt "nam-bar", its translation is spelt "ank", the name of the Raa-maa-yaNN's villain should be spelt "Raa-vaNN" in Hin-dee and "Raa-va-NNa" in San-skrit, future is spelt "fyoo-char", I'm is spelt "Ym", iteration is spelt "Y-tta-re-shan", night should be spelt "naaeett" by Indeeanz and "nYtt" by Bri-ti-sharz, heterozygosity is spelt "hE-tta-roe-zY-go-si-ttee", the translations meaning are spelt "mat-lab" and "arth", thug is spelt "thag", its hin-dee root is spelt "ththag", deal is spelt "ddeel", Shahrukh Khan is mostly but perhaps incorrectly pronounced "Shaa-roo Khaan", one translation of obstacle is "a-rdangaa", one translation of big is "ba-rdaa/ba-rdee", two objects denoted by the word nail are "keel" and "naa-khun", one translation of emperor is "shE-hEn-shaa", and so on.
'To Mistress' is a sonnet while the 'I Love Your Blog' was a blogger award given me by Kriti in early 2009. The write up following that narrates that; click on 'her' in that write-up to go to the link on her blog in which she announced that.
As for this interesting and remarkable system, well I'll take your word for it. I know very, very little about this and can willingly place all trust in you.
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